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Why your child is a bully and what you can do about it!

Much is being said about victims of childhood bullying. Significant measures are being taken in schools to help out the victims. How about the other half of the equation? For bullying to stop, shouldn’t we also consider the bullies? Let us enter the world of bullies and hopefully we can understand and helped them. Why a child bullies Bullying is defines as any purposeful behaviour that makes life miserable for others. It can take the form of hitting someone, taking things away, name calling, damaging property or excluding someone from activities. Children may bully their peers for several reasons: They were themselves bullied; They are unhappy and don’t like themselves much so they take it out on other kids; and They may be afraid of being picked on so they act tough. Difficulties with family, friendship, school, home environment or other life situations can cause a child to resort to bullying. For example, overly strict parents or abuse at home may cause the child to express his negative emotions and anger on others. How parents can help Be patient, understanding and open with their child; Realise that bullying is a serious problem and parents mustn’t be defensive or start yelling at their child when the school informed them of their child’s behavioural problem; Explain to their child that such behaviour can be hurtful to others, and they can still be well-liked or popular without resorting to bully; Work together with the school to tackle the situation; and Resort to disciplinary actions if necessary but the child must know why he/she is being punished and that his/her actions are wrong Real life story - Susan (not her real name) talks about how she dealt with her son’s bullying behaviour in preschool. How did you realise that your child engaged in bullying behaviour? Jason (not his real name) was 4 years old and he wasn’t getting along with the rest of the kids in his preschool. The other kids already knew one other from previous pre-school years. Jason was having a hard time fitting in. As a result, he became aggressive and disobedient. He would hit his peers if they are holding the toys that he wanted to play with. He also pushed them if he was unhappy for whatever reasons. How did you deal with your child? I bought him books about sharing. We talked about feelings – “how would you feel if someone did that to you or your sister?” He said he would be sad. Ialso made a chart for him. Each day he behaved well in school, I put a star on his chart. I rewarded him when he got his tenth star – a book, a toy, a movie date with me and a tortoise. These are the things that he wanted of course. After Jason managed to complete several charts, his behaviour improved but I wanted to do more. I changed the rule a bit – stars were removed for bad behaviours. It was more challenging for Jason but he took it positively. Did you seek help? Jason’s grandparents were very supportive and helpful. I explained to them Jason’s behavioural problem and they participated in the star chart program. They gave lots of verbal encouragement to Jason. How is Jason now? He has made tremendous improvement. He still misbehaves once in a while like a normal child. He is more caring, thoughtful and cheerful! If you wish to understand more about bullies and how to eliminate bullying from your child's life. Here's an excellent ebook that I would like to recommend. Click Here! Custom Search